Satisfied Contentment

The other day I wrote a short piece about the little things in life and how happy they made me. The euphoric moments of gratitude over having a husband I love, a job I enjoy, and family and friends that I adore. And there are no words to describe how lucky and happy all those little things make me feel, but today I’m feeling a different kind of happy, a calmer, more subtle kind.

Over the past 2 weeks, Kyle and I have cleaned the whole house. Living room, kitchen, 2 bathrooms, dining room, library and bedroom. And I’m sitting here now, having finished the bedroom today and washed a sink full of dishes, relaxing in my library chair with a book and a beer and I’m just so damn content. Like a cat who has found the perfect spot in the sunshine, I just feel satisfied. I can sit and read and not worry that I should be doing something else. My house is so clean and lovely right now that I never want to leave it.

So while having euphoric little moments is what makes life worth living, there is something to be said for simple contentment.

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Little moments (and a little mushiness…)

It’s 4:30 in the afternoon and I just sent my husband an “I miss you” text.

R: Can I come home yet? I miss you.

K: Yes.

R: Hurray!

K: I miss you, too.

 

And suddenly my heart hurt with the happiness of it all.  I spent all of yesterday with Kyle.  We did a “staycation”, our #knaptondayoffun.  We visited local establishments for meals and books and beers, and then we came home to cheerfully lament our overly full bellies and went to bed early because we’d exhausted ourselves with all that excitement.

And yet, even after a full 24 hours with nothing but Knapton (I just came up with that and it made me laugh out loud), I sit here at my desk and I miss him.  Sure, sometimes he’s the most annoying, most obnoxious, most aggravating person I’ve ever known, and yet for some reason, I can’t seem to get enough of him. Isn’t that wild? Who would have ever thought that an only child who craves quiet and space could ever be lucky enough to find someone that she’s willing to share that quiet and space with? Someone who’s willing to share his quiet and space with her? I look forward to seeing him every night when I get home, and I can’t wait to say good morning the next day (although I’m sure he often wishes I could wait and would let him sleep just a few minutes more). I can’t find enough lucky stars to count to really emphasize just how grateful I am that we found each other.

It’s little moments of epiphanies like this that make life really seem worth living.  Sometimes things aren’t perfect, and sometimes life is hard (and by sometimes, I mean basically all the time).  But then sometimes little thoughts strike me, like this one, on this mundane Thursday afternoon when I remembered how blessed I am to have a husband whom I miss every moment that we aren’t together. Other times the epiphanies are work related, like when I pass along a love of “Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging”‘ to a 6th grade girl who then conspiratorially mentions “Nauseating P. Green” to me like an inside joke that makes us both giggle. How amazing is it that that’s my job? 

There are days when work is frustrating (hell, there are days when marriage is frustrating), but then there are moments; little, tiny, almost insignificant moments, that can explode in my head like supernovas. And it’s the combination of those moments that help remind me what a wonderful little life I lead.  But most important is the desire and need to remember those little moments, because sometimes in the big moments, the sad, or scared, or angry moments, it can be hard to think of the happy things.  And so here I sit, reminding myself of the little moments, so that if (when) something comes along to get me down, I can look back on these little epiphanies of joy I’ve just recorded. My hope is that I’ll remember to smile and keep looking forward to the next happy moment that’s bound to be just around the river bend. (I couldn’t resist the Pocahontas reference there, I just couldn’t.)

Where is Spring?

Updates:

Currently Reading:

The Walking Dead Graphic Novels by Robert Kirkman (just about to start #18) (obsessed) (SO different from the show)

The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender by Leslye Walton (Most gorgeous cover in the world. Very tall tale Historical Fantasy)                        

   

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor (listening to audio–really excellent)

 

Eating? Presbyterian Church Chicken and Biscuit Lunch (best comfort food ever)

 

Greatest discovery: F. Oliver’s Oils and Vinegars. Seriously, this place was amazing. I walked out with my wallet $60 lighter and with two amazing olive oils (Tunisian Harissa, a spicy one, and Heady Garlic) and two balsamic vinegars (Mediterranean Cassis and Sweet Rich Cherry). I got steaks out for dinner tonight so I’m SUPER excited to use some of the vinegars.  

bottle

 

Updates

Because I’m TERRIBLE at blogging, and haven’t done it since….let’s see, the last thing I actually wrote was about being married for 2 years, and that was 6 months ago, yeesh…. I’m going to try to start again with some very simple here’s what’s going on right now kinds of updates. So, without further ado:

Reading: “The Good Luck of Right Now” by Matthew Quick.  Also, “The Winter People” by Jennifer McMahon.

Just finished: Roomies by Sara Zarr and Tara Altebrando 

Listening to: “Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging” by Louise Rennison (so good) and the second installment of the Jacky Faber series. 

Thinking about: The Fairy Tale Festival. And praying it goes well. 

Avoiding: Shelving books.  I just. Don’t. Want. To.

Wishing my Diet Pepsi would automatically refill, but knowing I should probably stick to my one a day policy.

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